5 Smart Mouth Answers for 2005 - Land Rovers Only

Burns · 05-11-2006, 03:23 PM

Smart Mouth Answer #5:
>> > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
>>tickets.
>> > As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
>>opened his
>> > trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a beat....she
> said,
>
>>"Sir,
>> > I need to see your ticket not your stub."
>> >
>> > *****************
>> > Smart Mouth Answer #4:
>> > A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store,
>>but she
>> > couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
> boy,
>>"Do
>> > these turkeys get any bigger?"
>> > The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
>> >
>> > *******************
>> >
>> > Smart Mouth Answer #3:
>> > The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
> speeding
>> >
>> > rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
> cop
>>said.
>> > The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
>> > When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
way
>>without
>> > a ticket.
>> >
>> > *******************
>> >
>> > Smart Mouth Answer #2:
>> > A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
> that
>> > reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
> right
>
>>ahead of
>> > him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
> miles.
>> > Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
> walks
>
>>to
>> > the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
>>huh?"
>> > The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
> out
>>of
>> > gas."
>> >
>> > *******************
>> >
>> > #1 SMART MOUTH ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................
>> >
>> > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
> "Now
>>class,
>> > I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
> might
>> > consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
> illness,
> or
>>a death
>> > in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
>>whatsoever!"
>> > A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
>>"What
>> > would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
>>utter
>> > sexual exhaustion?"
>> > The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
>> > When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the
> student,
>> > shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to
> write
>
>>the exam
>> > with your other hand."

Melissa B.

llesra · 05-11-2006, 05:14 PM

freakin hilarious!!!!

roverX · 05-11-2006, 07:16 PM

You mean I can use my other hand???

75series3 · 05-11-2006, 07:18 PM

llesra

to the new avatar

Micro-Organism Killer · 05-11-2006, 09:11 PM

Ya since we are both such smart asses Mel, I am sure these will come in handy some time in the future.....especially with micro-organisms!

ish · 05-12-2006, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roverX

You mean I can use my other hand???

COM'ON X WE ALL KNOW YOUR A SWITCH HITTER!!!!!!

WCURoverD90 · 05-12-2006, 06:12 AM

Those are awesome......

JungleRR · 05-12-2006, 08:47 AM

I wish I could find a way to reuse some of those...

Funrover · 05-15-2006, 01:38 AM

RageRover · 05-15-2006, 02:33 AM

I will have to use the cop and speeding kid scenario if.......er.....when I get pulled over for speeding, to the traffic cop.

LMAO!!!

Those are great!! The bridge and big rig one, sounds like a Bill Engvall "Here's your sign thing", still hilarious though.

DiscoPilot · 05-15-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roverX

You mean I can use my other hand???

you mean you guys can just use 1 hand? I need both

pickuprover · 05-15-2006, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roverX

You mean I can use my other hand???

Try laying on the other hand till it falls asleep RoverX... then maybe it would be like a stranger....

JungleRR · 05-15-2006, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pickuprover

Try laying on the other hand till it falls asleep RoverX... then maybe it would be like a stranger....

I was in shock the first time I heard of guys doing that.... that's just gross!!!

pickuprover · 05-15-2006, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JungleRR

I was in shock the first time I heard of guys doing that.... that's just gross!!!

Ask the fiancee....

(and would not have thought that would have grossed you out.... mmmm maybe you are not as naughty as you portray....

)

JungleRR · 05-15-2006, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pickuprover

Ask the fiancee....

(and would not have thought that would have grossed you out.... mmmm maybe you are not as naughty as you portray....

)

I'm not at all.... LRO did this to me

I just try to act it, but I'm not at all as naughty as I would like to be...

05-11-2006, 03:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
Burns Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The good ole' Lone Star State! Posts: 3,060 Gallery: 0	5 Smart Mouth Answers for 2005 Smart Mouth Answer #5: >> > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check >>tickets. >> > As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he >>opened his >> > trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a beat....she > said, > >>"Sir, >> > I need to see your ticket not your stub." >> > >> > *************** >> > Smart Mouth Answer #4: >> > A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, >>but she >> > couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock > boy, >>"Do >> > these turkeys get any bigger?" >> > The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." >> > >> > *************** >> > >> > Smart Mouth Answer #3: >> > The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for > speeding >> > >> > rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the > cop >>said. >> > The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." >> > When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way >>without >> > a ticket. >> > >> > *************** >> > >> > Smart Mouth Answer #2: >> > A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up > that >> > reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is > right > >>ahead of >> > him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for > miles. >> > Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and > walks > >>to >> > the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, >>huh?" >> > The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran > out >>of >> > gas." >> > >> > ***************** >> > >> > #1 SMART MOUTH ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005....................... >> > >> > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. > "Now >>class, >> > I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I > might >> > consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or > illness, > or >>a death >> > in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses >>whatsoever!" >> > A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, >>"What >> > would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and >>utter >> > sexual exhaustion?" >> > The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. >> > When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the > student, >> > shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to > write > >>the exam >> > with your other hand." Melissa B.

05-11-2006, 05:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
llesra ภาษาไทย Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,161 Gallery: 16	freakin hilarious!!!! __________________ Arsell My Car Domain Site

05-11-2006, 07:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
roverX Elephantitis penisitis Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 5,439 Gallery: 0	You mean I can use my other hand??? __________________ What? Is this where I'm supposed to write some profound statement that boggles the intellect of the genius that you think you are? Why would I waste my time with that when I can be getting free lap dances from your sister AND your girlfriend at the same time?

05-11-2006, 07:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
75series3 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 2,451 Gallery: 0	llesra to the new avatar __________________ tim adopting a child shaping a life

05-11-2006, 09:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
Micro-Organism Killer Land Rover Poseur Join Date: May 2006 Location: Alaska (ANWR) Posts: 14 Gallery: 0	WoW ~~ These Are Good! Ya since we are both such smart asses Mel, I am sure these will come in handy some time in the future.....especially with micro-organisms!

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05-12-2006, 06:12 AM	#7 (permalink)
WCURoverD90 RIP Trooper Shawn Blanton Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lake Wylie, SC Posts: 6,765 Gallery: 10	Those are awesome...... __________________ "All those that believe in Telekinesis, Raise my hand' "If I wanted a Hummer, I would call your girlfriend" Rovers 97 Defender 90 Soft Top 2005 LR3 HSE 1956 Series 1 107 Tow Truck

05-12-2006, 08:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
JungleRR It's all about my Blue Balls! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Hanford, California Posts: 2,102 Gallery: 0	I wish I could find a way to reuse some of those... __________________ Silly Boys!... Range Rovers are for girls! Cars: 1988 Range Rover Classic (aka Blue Balls) 2000 Discovery II SE7 (my fiance's... soon to be mine)

05-15-2006, 02:33 AM	#10 (permalink)
RageRover Crazy about Rovers and more... Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Westland, MI Posts: 2,889 Gallery: 0	I will have to use the cop and speeding kid scenario if.......er.....when I get pulled over for speeding, to the traffic cop. LMAO!!! Those are great!! The bridge and big rig one, sounds like a Bill Engvall "Here's your sign thing", still hilarious though. __________________ Pat Albaugh, Midwest Moderator "Diffage" -the point at which the truck's differential makes contact with the ground. http://www.cardomain.com/id/RageRover42Visit my RRC and others here!(updated as of September 15, 2006) 1995 RRC LWB -LT265/75R16 Pathfinder All Terrains -RTE 2" Lift Springs -Pro Comp ES9000 Shocks (from DAP Enterprises) -KMC Front Diff Guard -4 Desert Fox 55 watt Lighting -Radio Shack CB Radio (never know when signal fails on a cell phone) -2 Halogen Super Sport 100 watt forward lights -Custom slim style front bumper w/ integrated bull bar -Lowe's Special "Homemade" Snorkel -T-Case out of an 92' RRC

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