Crap that pisses you off

[Dragunov]

Hey Gunny,

As I have read several of your posts that indicate a less than content nature, I'd like to offer a suggestion:

Open your favorite data-base and entitle it: MY SHIT LIST!
Make up a list of awards to give people or things that piss you off,
Some examples would be:

The DAILY DICK award ---> for those people or things that piss you off on a daily basis.

The weekly ASS MOP award---> For that special person or thing that has been pissing you off throughout the entire week.

The PERFORATED PENIS award----> Given to that special someone you'd like to set on a barn rafter, nail his penis to it, give him a butter knife and light the barn on fire.

The TRAUMATIZED NUTS award----> For that someone you'd like to walk up to and kick them in the nuts. This is the gift that keeps on giving... at least for a couple of hours anyway.

The NEEDS A BULLET IN THE BRAINSTEM award---> Saved for the idiot in your life that is particularly evil.

The INSIDIOUS PRICK award..... I think you get the idea.

Give the award and note what that person did to deserve it.

Example: I award the DAILY DICK to John (Doe) for farting next to my cubicle and denying it. (May the mud on his turtle dry to a non-removable crust.)

Eventually, you'll start laughing as you update it and will help improve your mood.

The important thing here is to be creative! It's great therapy.

Hope this is helpful.

[kellijo]

Wow, now those are hilarious! However, I sure hope I don't make his list. I'm in luck, they sound like mostly man titles. I couldn't help but laugh out loud with the PERFORATED PENIS award. LOL!!!

[msggunny]

Originally Posted by Dragunov

Hey Gunny,

As I have read several of your posts that indicate a less than content nature, I'd like to offer a suggestion:

Open your favorite data-base and entitle it: MY SHIT LIST!
Make up a list of awards to give people or things that piss you off,
Some examples would be:

The DAILY DICK award ---> for those people or things that piss you off on a daily basis.

The weekly ASS MOP award---> For that special person or thing that has been pissing you off throughout the entire week.

The PERFORATED PENIS award----> Given to that special someone you'd like to set on a barn rafter, nail his penis to it, give him a butter knife and light the barn on fire.

The TRAUMATIZED NUTS award----> For that someone you'd like to walk up to and kick them in the nuts. This is the gift that keeps on giving... at least for a couple of hours anyway.

The NEEDS A BULLET IN THE BRAINSTEM award---> Saved for the idiot in your life that is particularly evil.

The INSIDIOUS PRICK award..... I think you get the idea.

Give the award and note what that person did to deserve it.

Example: I award the DAILY DICK to John (Doe) for farting next to my cubicle and denying it. (May the mud on his turtle dry to a non-removable crust.)

Eventually, you'll start laughing as you update it and will help improve your mood.

The important thing here is to be creative! It's great therapy.

Hope this is helpful.

Thats not a bad idea,

Only problem is that it would most likely consume all of my time and i would never get around to important things.

Usually i only rant when something is pissing me off at that moment when i am on the computer. Then i come here and bitch about it.

At work i just yell and throw/beat things. The other Marines are used to it.

I usually calm myself down when i am alone in the woods or fishing. If not there then i can usually find my "center" when i am working on my series. That is until i cant find a tool that i need, or the neighbors fricking boxer is barking again, or i cant fix what i was working on. Then i get all mad again.

Thats why i hate watching any "war" or action movie. Too much stuff that i see in it that is so off the mark as far as realisim that it makes me say stuff and piss off my wife while i am watching it.

News is another thing i hate. Stupid people doing stupid things. Now i just listen to NPR in the mornings or browse BBC and CNN on the computer for quick headlines.

I guess that in my quest for common sense in a common sensless world it infurates me.

There is a saying we have: Common sense is not a common virtue

Ok, now i sound like i am starting to rant agian......

Really, im a happy person most of the time.

[Dragunov]

Originally Posted by kellijo

Wow, now those are hilarious! However, I sure hope I don't make his list. I'm in luck, they sound like mostly man titles. I couldn't help but laugh out loud with the PERFORATED PENIS award. LOL!!!

That's the beauty of "The SHIT List". It can be adapted for female awards too.

Glad you enjoyed it.

DRAGUNOV -------> Kicking "The SHIT List" up to notches unknown!

[Dragunov]

Originally Posted by msggunny

Thats not a bad idea,

Only problem is that it would most likely consume all of my time and i would never get around to important things.

Usually i only rant when something is pissing me off at that moment when i am on the computer. Then i come here and bitch about it.

At work i just yell and throw/beat things. The other Marines are used to it.

I usually calm myself down when i am alone in the woods or fishing. If not there then i can usually find my "center" when i am working on my series. That is until i cant find a tool that i need, or the neighbors fricking boxer is barking again, or i cant fix what i was working on. Then i get all mad again.

Thats why i hate watching any "war" or action movie. Too much stuff that i see in it that is so off the mark as far as realisim that it makes me say stuff and piss off my wife while i am watching it.

News is another thing i hate. Stupid people doing stupid things. Now i just listen to NPR in the mornings or browse BBC and CNN on the computer for quick headlines.

I guess that in my quest for common sense in a common sensless world it infurates me.

There is a saying we have: Common sense is not a common virtue

Ok, now i sound like i am starting to rant agian......

Really, im a happy person most of the time.

As I said in a previous post on another thread, I've never had a real anger problem. Most of the time I just kept things to myself, the world around me is safer that way. My "Shit list" consumed me for about a month after inventing it, however, after about a month I started to laugh at it and it became fun.

I would look at it and wonder why people treated others in such a manner. Then I started pitying those on my "Shit list" for having lives so miserable that they felt they had no recourse but to piss other people off all the time. After much prayer, I felt it was a healthier thing for me.... AND them, to learn to forgive them. They are miserable enough. I don't need their drama bleeding into my life and making me miserable too.

[kellijo]

Originally Posted by Dragunov

After much prayer, I felt it was a healthier thing for me.... AND them, to learn to forgive them. They are miserable enough. I don't need their drama bleeding into my life and making me miserable too.

Your insight, I hope, enlightens many.....

[Dragunov]

Originally Posted by kellijo

Your insight, I hope, enlightens many.....

Well, that's not to say that I don't resist the urge form time to time to slice a chunk of achillles tendon from someone who desperately deserves it.
Or removing them from the gene pool all together. I've just learned how to deal with abject stupidity. My Dad once told me that "for every ounce of knowledge you posess, you'd better have ten pounds of common-sense to go with it, Otherwise you're just another waste of space."

There seem to be a lot of military/Ex-military folks in here that I'm sure, can
sympathize.

I'm no saint.

[Dragunov]

Originally Posted by Dragunov

DRAGUNOV -------> Kicking "The SHIT List" up to notches unknown!

Hey! That's pretty good! I think I'll use it in my signature.