This might make some of you wonder what the fuck i have been smoking, but o fucking well.
I dont know if everyone has the same thing i get occasionally. Its like a "dark" spirit takes over. It happens usually when i am home, alone, half drunk. Thoughts go through my mind, thoughts that make me shiver when i remember them later. Thoughts that movies are made about.
Why does my dark-side come out when my defenses are shut down, why does my mind get consumed by thoughts of horror and sadness?
It never happens when i am with others, never happens when my self defense mechanisms are intact. Is this normal?
Ok, so i have lived a life that has made me accept and ready myself for some very "dark" times. I have smelled death.
What is this? Is it part of "man"? are we all innately conditioned to this?
Why is it that we (humans) can isolate this until we need it, and some cant?
Hmmmm......
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77 SIII 88
97 D1 5 speed
04 DII
91 D1 5 speed (the first, but gone )
I'll give you my 2 cents, so I can assure you that you are 'normal'..... Although, I'm sure it's hard for you to focus on my lengthy posts....
Quote:
Originally Posted by msggunny
I dont know if everyone has the same thing i get occasionally. Its like a "dark" spirit takes over. It happens usually when i am home, alone, half drunk. Thoughts go through my mind, thoughts that make me shiver when i remember them later. Thoughts that movies are made about.
Without you giving specific thoughts that you are having, this is difficult to really pinpoint. However, many people, while alone or in deep relaxation, will, at times, have thoughts that are on the somewhat 'morbid side'. It doesn't mean that you are sick, but rather a supressed fear that surfaces when thoughts of tragedy to you or your loved ones is what really would affect you deeply if such things would happen.
When you are alone or 'half drunk'...your mind has some downtime and is able to take the path less traveled. This is not a bad thing, although you may think it's horrible to have such thoughts, it actually can subconsciously prepare you for reaction and whether you like it or not, keep things real.
Of course, there are always deeper meanings and it is you who has to decifer which is which. When you think about or dream about death of a loved one, 'it suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him/her. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.'
If you think about, or dream of your own death, 'it can indicate a transitional phase in your life. You could be becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.'
Quote:
Originally Posted by msggunny
Why does my dark-side come out when my defenses are shut down, why does my mind get consumed by thoughts of horror and sadness?
Perhaps you are the type that does not share your true feelings of your fears or what creates sadness for you, but rather creates this personality that is larger than life in order to cope.......and even be the guy whom you want your friends and family to see.
We all need an outlet to vulnerability. It's hard, without feeling embarrassed, to talk to someone about yourself. However, whether it's just your feelings written on paper OR a person whom you can confide in because you know they will listen to you without judgement.....you need a way to relieve your burdens.
Quote:
Originally Posted by msggunny
It never happens when i am with others, never happens when my self defense mechanisms are intact. Is this normal?
Of course that's normal. Your mind is entertained with other things. You should continue to be 'in tune' to your subconscious, for it will always surface when you are 'alone again'....you can never run away from them, no matter how much you drink, or how many friends you have, or how tough your self defensive tactics are. You have to deal with them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by msggunny
What is this? Is it part of "man"? are we all innately conditioned to this?
It's part of a natural survival instincts. Most end up preparing themselves for the worst, but hoping for the best.
Quote:
Originally Posted by msggunny
Why is it that we (humans) can isolate this until we need it, and some cant?
You'd be shocked at just how many people are exactly like you. You'll probably never find out, because not many people are as candered about it, as you are being.
In conclusion, you are normal. If you or anyone needs an outlet, PM me. I shall attempt to help you seek out and relieve your burdens without judgement, and with a twist of humor.
__________________
*Kellijo*
98 D1
'If we worry too much about ourselves, we won't have time for others.'
Gunny; Let me tell you a couple of things which I have learned over the years. First of all, as far as the psychological, and sociological points; KJ is right on. But from a more biological point of view, my education, let me add.
With your questioning of is "this" a part of man; the answer is most definitely a yes. Man, as in the homosapien creature itself, is a social animal. We from the very beginning have survived, and proliferated through being part of a group. It is engrained in our very DNA to be part of a pack.
So when we are alone, it automatically is an unnatural feeling. It is why we look for a mate, have need for a family, look for friends with similar interests, etc...
I could go on and on, but it would just be trying to rationalize the point I've made.
Simply put; don't feel awkward or strange, by these feelings. When your brain is on a cooldown period, like KJ said, it allows thoughts that are usually repressed to flow easier. And when alcohol is a factor, any more than 2 or 3 at your size, remember that alcohol is a natural depressant. So it will be easier for dark thoughts to emerge. Nothing strange there either. Just natural biology of the human brain. Remember, that it's all just chemistry. And overall, humans have the same basic body chemistry. It's the people that are loners and become hermits that are the ones that show unnormal charecter traits.
__________________
"In certain places, at certain hours, gazing at the sea is dangerous. It is what looking at a woman sometimes is." - Victor Hugo
Originally Posted by Elemental
Some guys play hard to get, I play hard to want.
You all will be pleased that from here on out, I shall never give my 2 cents on any type of psychological/sociological opinions. Go ahead, clap if you want.
__________________
*Kellijo*
98 D1
'If we worry too much about ourselves, we won't have time for others.'
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The Dark Side
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If you or anyone needs an outlet, PM me. I shall attempt to help you seek out and relieve your burdens without judgement, and with a twist of humor. 
.....ha!
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