Friday Funnies

[taskforce121]

First, some words of good advice:

1. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
2. If you lend a person $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
3. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Second, some points to ponder:

1. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
2. Statistics have shown that 40% of all people at a party do this. What is it? Answer: Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
3. You cannot lick your elbow.

Third, let's visit a few of the SEC schools and check in on the answer to this burning question: How many SEC football players does it take too screw in a light bulb?

1. Vanderbilt: Two. One to change the bulb and one to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.
2. Georgia: Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone an engineering student at Georgia Tech to ask for instructions.
3. Alabama: Four. One to change the bulb and three to reminisce about how "The Bear" would have done it.
4. Auburn: Fifty. One to change it and forty-nine to discuss how much better they did it than Alabama.
5. Tennessee: Ten. Two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade and six to call a radio talk show to explain how much they hate Alabama.

Joke of the Day:

A young guy walks into a post office and sees a middle–aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and sprays scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the best of him, the guy goes up to the man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out a thousand Valentine cards signed, “Guess who?”

“But why?” Asked the young guy.

“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the bald man replied.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

By the way, by the time you have read this far, 63% of you will have tried to lick your elbow.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

phil
94 and 97 Disco I

[kellijo]

Originally Posted by taskforce121

By the way, by the time you have read this far, 63% of you will have tried to lick your elbow.

HA HA! Really?

[75series3]

Originally Posted by kellijo

HA HA! Really?

HOW DID YOU DO KJ?

[kellijo]

Originally Posted by 75series3

HOW DID YOU DO KJ?

Why in the hell would someone be trying to lick their elbow? HA HA! I would rather have a 'licker' instead of being the 'lickee' of my own.

[75series3]

Originally Posted by kellijo

Why in the hell would someone be trying to lick their elbow? HA HA! I would rather have a 'licker' instead of being the 'lickee' of my own.

Some may wonder how flexable one maybe.............you could then be the lickee of your licker that may make someones pudder flicker

[Funrover]

LOL good post!

[RageRover]

LMAO!!! That's great....and yes, as soon as I read the elbow thing, I tried licking it....yeah....it don't work.