Dicks hunting trip, a cautionary tale.

[msggunny]

Dick gets off early one day, and as its fall, decides to go to the woods to try and bag a deer.

Dick is forced, by circumstance and procrastrination, to take the stock Disco 1 over his dedicated trail rig SIII. Its Dicks wife's daily driver, and she claims it as hers, although she is mistaken.

Dick goes about the house getting his hunting equipment in order: gun, ammo, knife, drag rope, blaze orange, etc.

Dick then goes about getting his recovery equipment ready: Strap (it must be in the bag with the other gear, no need to check), chain (its in the bag), D rings (there in the bag), Hi Lift with winch kit (hmmm, where is it? O, Randy has it, Dick wont need it though he thought to him self).

Dick knows his route, although the only other person who knows where he is going exactly is on the other side of the USA. No big deal he thinks, he made it easily in the SIII (bigger, more aggressive tires, lighter) the Disco should make it noooo problem.

Dick drives off, confident that he will have a great time. Half an hour later, dick arrives at the trail head. Dick shifts to Low range and locks the CDL and begins. First mud puddle, no problem, but it was a bit small. Second mud puddle, no problem, just a bit bigger than the first. Third mud puddle, lets give it a bit of extra throttle, it was a bit bigger. No problem!

This was Dicks first time off road with his new to him Disco. He was impressed by how easily it handled the first 3 holes.

On to the 4th. In he goes, gives it a bit of throttle, and the sound of metal on hard mud and wheels spinning.

O shit, he thought.

A bit more throttle, nothing.

Quick, reverse! Nothing

Lock to lock with the steering wheel, not a dam thing.

Fuck, crap, shit. "I'm a stupid ass" Dick thinks to himself.

Dick gets out and assesses the situation, through the drivers side window as the door bottom in submerged.

Yup, he is stuck.

Ok, what to do now smart guy, you didn't get the Hi Lift so you cant winch your self out now can you, dumb ass!

Ok, rig for recovery and call someone (if Dick was smart, he would have brought someone else since he didn't have any self recovery gear with him)

Great, no strap, just a chain and 2 D rings. Hope it works.

Woo hoo! got in touch with Randy. He is going to bring the Hi Lift too!

Ok, it will take 2 hours at least for him to get to Dick, so Dick decides to get his stuff and go hunt for a while.

Since he disturbed the Rover gods by being a dumb fuck, he saw nothing.

Easy recovery, 5 inches of shit smelling swamp water in the drivers side.

Moral of the story:

Don't be a Dick!